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How Can I Become More Assertive? Practical Tips for Everyday Life | WTG

Written by Williamsburg Therapy Group | Dec 5, 2025 9:22:35 PM

Some people are naturally assertive, understanding what they want and using their own abilities to ask for what they need. However, many lack assertiveness, which can lead to passive aggression, anger, or just plain aggressive behavior and cause a great deal of frustration and lack of fulfillment. Read on for an excellent article that explores how to be a nice person but also get what you want out of life.

Introduction to Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a key communication skill that helps individuals express their true feelings and needs in a clear and respectful manner—it’s about being able to communicate effectively without being aggressive or passive. Assertive means healthy communication that looks out for a person's best interests without using sarcasm, manipulation, or aggressive behavior.

Developing assertiveness can greatly improve personal relationships, self-confidence, and overall well-being in everyday life. Assertive people are able to set clear boundaries, express their opinions, and stand up for themselves without feeling guilty or anxious.

By becoming more assertive, individuals can reduce stress, improve their work-life balance, and make life a bit easier overall.

Characteristics of Assertive People

Assertive people possess excellent communication skills, self-respect, and a strong sense of self-worth. They are able to express their needs and feelings in a clear and direct manner and can set boundaries, say no without feeling guilty, and prioritize their own needs and desires.

An assertive person is confident, respectful, and able to communicate effectively in difficult situations. They are also able to recognize and respect the feelings and needs of others, making them more effective in personal relationships.

The Role of Body Language

Assertive body language plays a crucial role in communicating confidence and self-respect - it includes maintaining eye contact, standing up straight, and using open and confident gestures.

Nonverbal cues can greatly impact how others perceive us. These cues can include:

  • facial expressions
  • tone of voice
  • posture

By practicing assertive body language, individuals can build confidence, feel more comfortable in their own skin, and communicate more effectively. Assertive body language can also help to reduce stress and anxiety in difficult situations.

Developing Communication Skills

Effective communication is key to becoming more assertive—it involves being able to express oneself clearly, respectfully, and confidently. Learn to pause before you speak...allow yourself a deep breath before you open your mouth.

Research and practice active listening skills, using “I” statements, and setting clear boundaries to help improve clarity in what you have to say. Practice getting straight to the point in a manner that is also respectful and kind.

Assertive communication involves being direct, honest, and respectful, while also being open to feedback and compromise. You can practice with text messages, sending a text asking directly for something without apology.

Understanding Assertive Behavior

Assertive behavior involves standing up for oneself and expressing one’s needs and feelings in a clear and respectful manner. It’s about being able to communicate effectively without being aggressive or passive—assertive behavior is not about being confrontational or aggressive, but about being confident and respectful.

Assertive individuals are able to recognize and respect the feelings and needs of others while also prioritizing their own needs and desires. They are typically considered a nice person but are still able to get what they need.

By understanding what assertive behavior entails, you can develop the skills and confidence needed to communicate effectively and build strong relationships.

Overcoming Passive Aggressive Tendencies

One of the problems that may stem from a lack of self-esteem and an ability to assert yourself is a tendency to resort to passive-aggressive behavior. Passive-aggressive behavior involves indirect expressions of negative feelings, such as sulking or making sarcastic comments.

Overcoming passive-aggressive tendencies involves developing assertiveness, recognizing and expressing your feelings and needs, and setting boundaries. You can do so by practicing self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-regulation to develop more assertiveness.

Overcoming passive-aggressive tendencies can allow you to build stronger relationships, improve how you communicate with others, and develop greater self-confidence overall.

Becoming More Assertive

Becoming more assertive involves developing a range of skills, including communication, self-awareness, and self-confidence. These behaviors can take time and practice, but over time you can learn to be more assertive. Identify and set firm boundaries, and seek feedback, support, and guidance from friends, family members, or a mental health professional.

By becoming more assertive over time, you can improve your relationships, build confidence, and achieve your goals.

Set Boundaries to Become More Assertive

Setting firm boundaries is an important step in becoming more assertive. It involves being able to say no, set limits, and prioritize your own needs and desires. Self-care, or lack thereof, can make a huge difference in overall mental and physical health...assertiveness can allow you to take better care of yourself by making your own time and energy a priority.

Assertive individuals are able to communicate their boundaries clearly and respectfully, while also being open to feedback and compromise. To learn this skill:

  • Realize that your own needs are important
  • Choose your words carefully in advance
  • Practice the conversation you want to have
  • Understand that you don't have to overexplain your reasons, and that your "no" is a whole sentence

By learning to set boundaries, individuals can build stronger relationships, improve their communication skills, and develop greater self-confidence.

Developing a Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset involves being open to learning, growth, and development—it involves recognizing that one’s abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and practice. Understanding that you need to change gives you the advantage over those who believe that they have it all figured out. There is hope in the idea that you can act in a way that promotes positive change. Some strategies for self-growth in concert with assertiveness include:

  • Learning communication skills through courses or with a professional
  • Making a point to identify your feelings
  • Practicing respect toward yourself and others
  • Being direct about what you want and need, and learning to stand up for yourself
  • Practicing how to speak confidently to others without being aggressive (you can do this in a mirror or with a trusted friend)
  • Practicing body language such as eye contact and posture

Assertive individuals are able to recognize and respect their own strengths and weaknesses and are able to communicate effectively without feeling anxious or guilty.

Building Self-Esteem and New Skills to Become a More Assertive Person in Brooklyn

It can be a lot easier talking about becoming more assertive than actually doing the work to make it happen. However, when you take the time to practice assertive communication, your world can become a lot easier. For example, you may realize that you take on too much in the moment and then become angry at yourself for not saying "no." Not to mention that over-promising your time may take away from other things that matter.

At Williamsburg Therapy Group, our team of doctoral-level Brooklyn psychotherapists allows you to work with a trained professional that can help you learn how assertiveness works and how assertive communication helps stress reduction and can support you in taking control of your own life.

If you struggle with passivity, fear, or aggressive behavior, reach out to our customer service coordinator to get matched with a professional who can help you learn to manage psychological symptoms and cultivate assertiveness. Overall, assertiveness is a powerful practice that can have a positive impact on mental health and self-esteem, leading to improved quality of life and reduced mental health problems.