While anger is a normal emotion, an inability to manage angry feelings can not only negatively impact your health; it can create rifts in relationships and even lead to dangerous situations in certain cases. While some people struggle with anger issues more than others, anger management techniques can help almost anyone remain calm and walk away from problem situations, as well as gain clearer perspective about their own feelings.
Anger is a natural and healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can harm your mental health and relationships. Unchecked anger can develop from a number of contributing factors, but understanding what triggers your anger can help you manage it more effectively.
Begin by keeping a journal to track patterns of anger and note the circumstances, people, or events that tend to provoke this emotion.
Recognize the warning signs for when you feel angry (these can be different for everyone) to take action before your anger escalates. Often, angry thoughts or muscle tension can alert an individual that they're getting angry.
Identify underlying emotions, such as fear or sadness, that may be contributing to your anger. Anger rarely arrives alone; it is typically connected to other feelings.
Some ways to stay calm in general include strategies that work by relaxing the body, while specific exercises can be used in the moment to bring down your emotional temperature. Overall relaxation techniques include meditation or yoga, which help to manage stress and anxiety. You can also practice progressive muscle relaxation. Spending time listening to calming music is another way to avoid anger or the negative emotions that lead there.
For those moments when anger starts to simmer and you want to stay calm, try breathing exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing, to calm your mind and body. Take a few deep breaths to calm down, and use visualization to relax and imagine yourself in a calm and peaceful place.
An excellent overall way to boost mental and physical health is regular exercise. Engage in physical activity, such as brisk walking or running, to relieve tension and improve resilience to stress. Yoga or tai chi combine physical movement with simple breathing techniques that can have a calming effect on your overall demeanor.
Regular movement is an evidence-based strategy to improve your mental health and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help improve your mood and reduce stress.
In addition to regular physical activity, there are additional therapeutic modalities that promote physical relaxation, such as stretching, massage, and release of pressure points.
Mindfulness is another powerful tool to manage stress and negative feelings like anger. Mindfulness meditation can increase self-awareness and reduce stress. Start small and use guided meditations you can find on an app or YouTube to bring your mind into the present moment.
Cognitive restructuring is a common technique used in cognitive behavioral therapy to shift mindsets. Challenge negative thoughts and emotions to reframe your perspective and manage anger.
You can also develop self-awareness to recognize your triggers and warning signs, and take action to manage your anger as it occurs. Use mindfulness techniques, such as deep breaths or body scans, to increase awareness in the body. You can also practice self-compassion and acknowledge your feelings. Sometimes these can be difficult strategies to implement, but working with a therapist may be a helpful way to practice these and make them stick.
Healthy communication may also help you avoid losing control to your anger or frustration. Learn to express your feelings in a healthy way, such as through writing or talking to a friend or family member. They may even be able to guide you to possible solutions for your problem.
When talking to someone who makes you angry, use “I” statements to communicate effectively and avoid blaming or attacking others. Practice active listening to improve communication and reduce conflict. Avoid sarcasm; rather, use assertive communication to express your needs and boundaries.
Journaling or writing to process your emotions can also be a good way to get a sense of what's going on with your feelings and can help you stay calm in situations that typically make you feel angry.
You may also change the situation, causing anger. If you are currently struggling in an environment that contributes to you losing control, change your environment to help stay calm. For example, if you're living with a roommate that causes a lot of frustration in your life, it may be time to find someone else to room with.
Distraction is also a helpful way to shift from anger. You can also engage in a hobby or creative activity to distract yourself from angry thoughts and feelings. You may also watch a funny video or movie to shift your mood. Focusing on other feelings can help
Try activities that promote relaxation, such as reading or listening to calming music. Other distraction techniques we mentioned earlier can help, such as deep breathing or visualization, and they also promote an overall sense of calm and well-being.
Social support can be a strong protective factor for mental health and may help you calm feelings of anger. Seek trusted friends and family to talk through your feelings and get support. You may also want to consider seeking professional help for anger management issues, such as therapy or counseling.
Anger management support groups can connect you with others who are experiencing similar challenges and may be a good way to get some practical advice on how to handle angry feelings. If your schedule doesn't allow for in-person groups, there are online resources, such as articles or forums, where you can learn more about anger management and mental health.
Seek help from a mental health professional if you are experiencing uncontrolled anger or anger management issues.
Develop a personalized anger management plan to identify your triggers and implement strategies for managing anger overall, even when you aren't necessarily feeling angry. You can:
If you feel frustration building toward anger or rage, you can:
Managing anger is an important part of maintaining good mental health and relationships. By understanding your triggers and developing effective strategies for managing anger, you can reduce stress and alleviate stress. Remember to prioritize your mental health and well-being, and seek help and support when needed. With practice and patience, you can learn to manage your anger and improve your overall well-being.
At Williamsburg Therapy Group, our team of doctoral-level Williamsburg psychotherapists allows you to work with a provider that can create a treatment plan, offering a variety of practical strategies, healthy coping skills, and techniques that will allow you to work through your anger, learn to communicate your feelings more effectively, and feel more calm overall.
Don’t hesitate to seek help if you’re struggling with anger. With the right support, it’s possible to manage feelings of frustration and anger and improve the overall quality of life. If you have been thinking about seeking help, reach out to our customer service coordinator to get matched with a professional who can offer tools and strategies to manage anger, both overall and in the moment, and work through processing feelings of anger in a healthy way.