Making new friends isn't as simple as it was when you were a kid. In those days you might approach someone at the playground and ask them to play and immediately become good friends. Often showing up in the same place, like school or camp, meant that you had ready-made social groups without much effort. As adults (especially introverts), real life often gets in the way of making and maintaining friendships, and yet social connection is one of the keys to vibrant mental health. So what now? In this article we'll explore different ways you can find like-minded friends in a world that seems built for extroverts.
Making friends as an adult can be challenging, especially for introverts who prefer smaller social circles and meaningful conversations. Introverts often prioritize quality over quantity in their friendships, focusing on a few close relationships rather than a large network of acquaintances. You may treasure good friends from college while finding it difficult to break into a local mom group.
Adult friendships require effort and intention to maintain but can be incredibly rewarding for introverts who value deep connections and meaningful friendships. Many introverts struggle to find their place in social situations, but with the right strategies, they can find new friends and build lasting connections.
Embracing introversion and finding ways to socialize that feel comfortable and authentic is key to making friends and maintaining friendships as an introvert.
Joining groups or clubs based on common interests can be a great way for introverts to meet new people and make friends. Attending networking events or parties can be overwhelming, but focusing on small talk and finding one or two people to connect with can make the experience more manageable.
Introverts can use their listening skills to build connections with others and create meaningful conversations. Be willing to step out of their comfort zone and take risks to meet new people and make friends. Finding a shared activity or hobby can be a great way to bond with others and build friendships.
Introversion may seem like a detriment when it comes to making friends, but the truth is that they have some great strengths in this arena. While they may not be as outgoing or as ready to spend time in socializing with groups, they can be just the right one to get to know a person who interests them.
An introvert will often spend time getting to know a person and not ask the questions you'd expect. Rather than superficial niceties, they may be more interested in pursuing a conversation about a person's life and experiences, what matters to them, as well as larger ideas or world issues.
Looking for people with similar interests and hobbies can be a great way to find potential friends. Join an online community or forum related to a particular interest to connect with others who share similar passions. Attend events or meetups related to a specific interest—this can also provide opportunities to meet new people and make friends.
You may also volunteer for a cause or organization that aligns with your values to meet like-minded people and build connections. Taking a class or workshop can also be a fun and interactive way to meet new people and learn a new skill as well.
One of the great things about meeting a new person as an introvert is that you are probably more inclined to pursue deeper conversations. Having meaningful conversations and sharing personal experiences can help build deeper connections with others.
Being vulnerable and open with others can create a sense of trust and intimacy in friendships. Good friends show genuine interest in others and ask thoughtful questions to help build connections and create meaningful relationships.
Finding common ground and shared experiences can be a great way to build rapport and create lasting connections. Be patient and take the time to get to know someone to help build a strong and lasting friendship.
Deep talk isn't necessary all of the time, however...it's also okay to just have fun with a person.
Regular communication and check-ins can keep friendships strong. Schedule regular hangouts or activities with good friends to keep friendships alive and prevent drift. Also, being supportive and showing up for friends in times of need can help build trust and strengthen friendships.
Being open and honest with friends and communicating needs and boundaries can help prevent conflicts and maintain healthy friendships. Making an effort to stay in touch and show interest in friends’ lives can help keep friendships going over time.
Introverts may need to push themselves to be more social and take risks in order to meet new people and make friends. Finding ways to manage anxiety and discomfort in social situations can help introverts feel more confident and build connections with others.
Practicing self-care and taking time for alone time can help introverts recharge and feel more energized in social environments. Focus on shared interests and activities to build connections with others and feel more at ease in social situations.
Be kind and compassionate towards yourself and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. This can help you to better navigate social challenges.
Finding a routine or schedule that works for you and includes social activities can help introverts meet new people and make friends. Joining a club or group that meets regularly can provide a sense of structure and community. This can include a book club, a gardening group, or a gaming meetup.
Volunteering or taking a class can be a great way to meet new people and build connections while doing something meaningful. Join a gym and sign up for fitness classes until you find one that resonates with you. The gym is a great place to meet friends and spend time on improving mental and physical health.
Being consistent and following through on commitments can help build trust and strengthen friendships.
If you are feeling self-conscious about seeking friends, most people find therapy a good place to build confidence. You can practice conversation, identify opportunities to find a person that interests you, and learn how to maintain healthy relationships in a safe and non-judgmental space.
At Williamsburg Therapy Group, our team of doctoral-level Brooklyn psychotherapists allows you to work with a trained professional that can help you capitalize on your introversion, offer a variety of tips and practical strategies to help you become more assertive, and help you to experience better relationships and a greater quality of life.
With the right help, it’s possible to successfully improve how you communicate. If you have been thinking about seeking help, reach out to our customer service coordinator to get matched with a professional who can offer tools and strategies to seek relationships with others, speak your mind openly, and help you feel better about yourself overall.