No matter how wildly in love you are, it's important to realize that any relationship can rise or fall on the presence (or lack) of healthy communication skills. Establishing and maintaining clear relationship communication is one of the key components of a healthy long-term relationship. Not everyone is inherently a good communicator, and many may have been raised in a way that makes it difficult to listen and share with others.
The good news is that you can improve communication skills at any time of life. In this article, we'll take a closer look at how communication can affect your romantic relationships and share practical tips for improving communication and building intimacy in your own situation.
Establishing a strong foundation of trust, respect, and open communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Positive social interactions increase subjective wellbeing and provide greater life satisfaction, and good communication is a vital element of positive social interaction.
There are both verbal and nonverbal parts involved in communication, and sometimes navigating these can be tricky.
Good communication skills are not something that you're necessarily born with, but they can be learned. Healthy communication is possible for those who are want to improve communication skills, but it can take time and effort.
One of the most important communication skills is known as active listening. Active listening involves learning to have a genuine interest in what a person is saying, showing curiosity in the people around you, and avoiding interruptions. Improving communication requires active listening, empathy, and understanding.
Practice active listening by focusing on the speaker and avoiding distractions. Watch their body language and facial expressions to determine what they are really saying. If something is unclear, ask further clarifying questions until you understand.
Another way to practice healthy communication is to learn to spot and avoid communication barriers. Unhealthy communication patterns can escalate conflicts and create more problems, and many of us have developed these patterns.
One of the most common listening mistakes is defensiveness. Defensiveness is an unhealthy coping mechanism that can hinder healthy communication. When we think about our own feelings at the expense of trying to understand the feelings of others, we cut ourselves off from building truly personal relationships.
Conflict avoidance is another common problem. Avoiding conflict or using passive-aggressive behavior can make us more comfortable in the moment, but it can create greater problems in the long run.
Try to recognize poor communication patterns in your own life, such as passive-aggressive behavior, brushing things under the rug, and using aggressive speech.
Addressing conflict head-on is an essential communication skill, especially when it comes to relationship communication. The same listening rules apply to a romantic relationship as to other relationships; however, things can quickly get more heated when we're communicating with someone we are emotionally close with.
Effective communication skills can help prevent conflicts, keep them from escalating, and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. Healthy communication requires practice and awareness of listening mistakes and addressing conflicting ideas with not your own thoughts alone, but learning to see your partner's point of view.
Focus on being both heard and listened to, and make compromising and resolution the goal of the conversation rather than expressing hidden anger or being in the right.
Connection is a fundamental human need, and relationships are where we expect to find the most connection. Effective communication in relationships is crucial for a happy and healthy partnership. Poor communication can lead to feelings of isolation and misunderstanding, causing arguments or even complete disconnection and social isolation.
Improving communication requires awareness of defensive communication patterns. The silent treatment is one toxic communication pattern that can be misinterpreted and lead to further conflict. The silent treatment can lead to an emotional wall that leaves problems unresolved, and can cause a great deal of frustration to the partner trying to share their own feelings. Honest communication leads to a more fulfilling relationship.
You want to refrain from bringing up past mistakes, as it can be counterproductive and make your partner more defensive. Also avoid yelling or screaming, as it can cause arguments to become more intense and erode your partner’s self-esteem.
Finally, don’t walk away mid-argument, as it can leave conflict unresolved and create more tension in the relationship.
Mindful communication involves being present and fully engaged in the conversation. Like other mindfulness techniques, it's meant to bring you into the present moment and help you to avoid distractions. It can be difficult to do at first, but focus your attention on the words being spoken by the other person, not thinking about what you'll say next or on that load of laundry you need to do.
Improving communication requires practice and awareness of listening mistakes. Practice active listening by showing genuine interest and curiosity and avoiding interruptions.
Improving communication in a relationship requires practice and awareness. Unhealthy communication starts with negative thoughts or difficult emotions, and we may not always be aware that we're doing it. Effective communication skills can help build trust and strengthen relationships, and sometimes we can use help learning how to implement good communication skills in our own lives.
At Williamsburg Therapy Group, our team of doctoral-level Austin psychotherapists offers a number of evidence-based therapeutic approaches to talk therapy that offer the tools necessary for building positive relationships, learning how to manage uncomfortable emotions, and sharing good communication skills that can make all the difference in maintaining a fulfilling relationship with your loved one.
If you are having trouble maintaining healthy relationships due to differences in communication styles, toxic habits that disrupt communication, or other challenges, call our service coordinator to be matched with a therapist that can offer strategies and support for conflict resolution, building intimacy, and sharing other ways to improve communication in a relationship.