When there's a new baby in the house, everyone can feel overwhelmed. As humans, we are creatures of habit, but babies rarely if ever conform to any household habit. They may cry all night, and sleep all day. They may not eat on a regular schedule. They may require constant movement to relax, having parents walk the floor for hours on end. With the chaos of raising children, parents need to focus on their own health as well as their baby's health and wellbeing.
The transition to parenthood can have significant and wide-ranging impacts on the emotional health of new parents. Some factors that can impact your mental health include a stressful or unplanned pregnancy, obstetric complications, and difficulty with breastfeeding.
Even if you don't have a full case of baby blues, your mental well being may not be at optimal levels during this stressful time. As a new parent, it’s essential to prioritize your own health and well-being to ensure you can provide the best care for your baby.
One of the most important protective factors for mental health is creating connection, and yet our society doesn't always prioritize this. Here are some ways you can take matters into your own hands and get the help you need.
Connect with fellow parents for advice, socializing, and accountability. This can mean joining a parenting group or online community to build relationships with others who are going through similar experiences.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends when you need it. Juggling work, regular household chores, as well as daily care, can be difficult when you add a completely dependent human being to the mix. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, and people are often eager to help. If things get really rough, consider hiring a postpartum doula or night nurse for extra support.
Most importantly, reach out to your healthcare provider or a mental health professional if you’re struggling with your mental health. The baby blues, or postpartum depression, can be a very real concern, but it is treatable.
It may seem "selfish" to focus on your own needs in early parenthood, and when the baby arrives, you may become hyper-focused on their every whim. But much like the old analogy about putting the oxygen mask on yourself first, you can't offer the best of yourself to others if you neglect your own needs. A baby's mental health can be closely tied to that of their caregivers, so take care of yourself.
Take breaks and rest when you need to – it’s okay to ask for help with the baby. Seek support from a friend or from family, even if you just need to get in a quick nap. Spend time in doing activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as reading, taking a bath, or practicing yoga.
Prioritize healthy habits, such as eating nutritious food and staying hydrated, and make time for activities that promote emotional well-being, such as journaling, getting fresh air, or talking to a friend. New mothers don't always have a lot of time, so asking for help is key when it comes to self-care.
Even if you are not experiencing full blown postpartum depression or postnatal anxiety, when the baby arrives, you may struggle with more than a couple of negative emotions. Normalizing these feelings can make a big difference, as well as understanding the common symptoms of postpartum depression so you can seek help if necessary.
It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions after giving birth, including anxiety, tearfulness, and stress. The “baby blues” are common in the first few weeks after childbirth, but if symptoms persist, it may be a sign of postpartum depression. Seek reassurance from other parents about their negative feelings during new baby time. We don't tend to talk about them, and therefore they are often unexpected.
Also, don’t be afraid to talk to your healthcare provider or a mental health professional if you’re struggling with your emotions. Remember that it’s okay to not feel okay, and seeking help is a sign of strength.
With mood changes, feeling tired, and struggling to support your own mental health, other relationships can often be neglected during the advent of new baby. However, maintaining strong connections can help you both in the long and short term.
Communication is key – make time to talk to your partner about your feelings and needs. Prioritize date nights or activities that bring you and your partner closer together. (Or if you are a single parent, go out with a friend.)
Consider seeking couples therapy if you’re struggling to navigate the challenges of parenthood together. Remember that maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner can be essential to your mental health and well-being.
As a partner, be supportive and understanding of your partner’s emotional experiences, and encourage your partner to prioritize self-care and seek help if needed.
Offer to help with household chores or childcare to reduce stress and workload. In fact, don't offer...just do it. If you notice that your partner is having an especially tough go of it, encourage them to look for support groups or talk to friends. If you observe signs of postpartum depression, help them find a professional that they can talk to.
It's almost impossible to plan for a few days when the baby comes home, but if you don't start to try to incorporate protective factors for yourself, it can begin to feel tough. Here are some tips to help you avoid an increased risk for mental health challenges.
Sleep when your baby sleeps to help regulate your own sleep patterns. If you can afford it, you may want to consider hiring a night nurse, or you can ask a family member to stay overnight to help with feedings.
Prioritize a consistent sleep schedule to help regulate your baby’s sleep patterns, and remember that sleep deprivation can exacerbate mental health issues – seek help if you’re struggling.
Taking care of your physical health is essential to your mental health. Prioritize healthy eating, stay hydrated to maintain your energy levels, and engage in regular exercise. Engage in physical activity, such as walking or postpartum yoga, to promote physical and emotional well-being. Don't neglect social contact with friends or family...a parent who spends all of their time with their child can be at increased risk for low mood. Consider seeking professional help if you’re struggling with negative body image or disordered eating.
Parents very often feel guilty and overwhelmed after the birth of a child. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, but there is help available through therapy.
At Williamsburg Therapy Group, our team of doctoral-level psychotherapists for parents in Austin offers a number of evidence-based therapeutic approaches to talk therapy that offer the tools necessary for learning self-compassion, managing stress, and learning healthy coping skills and habits that can support the family after the birth of a new child.
If you are dealing with complicated feelings around your baby, can't stop crying, or the stress of being a parent is negatively impacting your life, call our service coordinator to be matched with a therapist that can help you work through your feelings in a healthy way, and offer tools and strategies that can help you feel good about parenting again.