Is It Love or Infatuation? 7 Signs to Understand Your Feelings

When you meet someone who you have strong feelings for, your heart beats faster, you may begin to imagine a life with them, and your attention may become focused on them all the time. You may think, "I'm so in love with this person!" However, you can be infatuated without being in love; there are some key differences between love and infatuation. Romance is exciting, and it may be the beginning of a life with a true friend and partner...but this isn't always the case. In this article we'll talk about love, passion, romance, and when being infatuated with someone becomes something more.

Introduction to Infatuation

Infatuation often appears as intense physical attraction and passion at the beginning of relationships; the strong feelings felt during this time can make it difficult to distinguish from true love. Infatuation creates intense feelings and desire, often overwhelming when falling for a new partner, and can be characterized by sweaty palms and a racing heart.

Romantic love involves lust, attraction, and attachment, each governed by specific hormones, which can be confusing when trying to identify infatuation. Infatuation makes you feel excited and joyful but may fade over time, leaving you wondering if it was really love or just infatuation.

There's nothing wrong with infatuation at the start of a relationship. A healthy dose of infatuation is normal at the start of any relationship, but distinguishing love from infatuation is key to building a strong connection.

Understanding the Consequences of Infatuation With a Person

Infatuation can distort mixed signals, making small actions feel overly significant and leading to obsession and an unhealthy focus on the partner. Often these "mixed signals" are based on feelings of lust that take the actions of a moment and project them into "forever." For example, if you are infatuated with a friend, they may not mean to give the wrong impression, but you may interpret what they say to you through the filter of your intense feelings and project meaning onto their words that doesn't actually exist.

Infatuation can also lead to a loss of self-esteem, as you become overly focused on your partner’s opinion and validation rather than your own feelings and needs. Infatuation may make you forget about other relationships, such as friendships and family, as you become consumed by the new relationship.

Infatuation can be short-lived as well, leaving you feeling confused and unsure about the future of the relationship. While infatuation can lead to an intense emotional connection, it may not be based on a deep affection or understanding of the partner as a whole person.

The Impact of Infatuation on Self

Infatuation can affect your self-esteem, making you feel insecure and vulnerable, and leading to a loss of identity and autonomy. The feelings and stress that can result from this type of obsession can have a negative impact on your daily life.

Infatuation can lead to an obsession with the partner, causing you to spend all your time thinking about them and neglecting other aspects of your life. And while infatuation can make you feel like you’re walking on air, it may not be based on a realistic understanding of the partner or the relationship.

Infatuation can lead to a lack of respect for personal boundaries and a disregard for your own needs and desires. Infatuation can also cause you to imagine a perfect world with your partner, but it may not be based on a deep understanding of their flaws and imperfections, leading to disappointment.

7 Characteristics of What Love Accepts vs Infatuation

So, what's the answer? There's nothing wrong with a strong sex- or emotion-based intensity in a relationship (most of us start there), but when we don't know the difference between physical attraction and the kind of love that lasts forever, we can become confused. While love and infatuation share certain characteristics, authentic love can be identified by the following signs:

• True love accepts the partner as a whole person, including their flaws and imperfections, and is based on a deep affection and understanding. Infatuation expects and wants to project perfection, or a certain image of oneself.
• Love involves a deep emotional connection and true intimacy but is not based on obsession or an unhealthy focus on the partner. The intense feelings of infatuation make you feel constantly obsessed with being around the other person all the time, jealous of others, and emotionally unsettled.
• Love is characterized by respect, honesty, and understanding and involves a willingness to communicate and work through challenges together. Feeling just infatuation can make it easier to walk away when things are tough or the intense feelings of physical attraction wane a bit.
• Romantic love is based on shared values and a deep connection and involves a commitment to building a life together.
• Love feels safe and secure and involves a sense of trust and loyalty, allowing you to feel excited and joyful without being overwhelmed by infatuation. True intimacy allows for the passion of a new relationship while also allowing for the idea that disagreements, embarrassing moments, and slow-burn moments will happen.
• Authentic love involves intense feelings at first but doesn't block out other relationships. Friends and family are still a part of your life, and you don't stop thinking about these other people.
• Real love is true partnership, with both partners supporting the hopes, dreams, and values of the other partner.

Feelings of Infatuation and Lust vs a Long Term Relationship

Infatuation and love are two different emotions, and it’s possible to experience both in a relationship, but it’s essential to understand the difference to build a healthy connection. A relationship or marriage based only on sex or infatuation may burn with intensity in the beginning but not go the distance. By recognizing the signs of infatuation and love, you can take steps to build a stronger and more meaningful relationship based on a deep affection and understanding.

Remember that love involves a deep emotional connection alongside desire, as well as respect, honesty, and understanding, and is not based on obsession or an unhealthy focus on the partner.

Working From Infatuation to Love in Chicago, IL

Take the time to get to know your partner as a whole person, and prioritize building a healthy and fulfilling relationship, rather than just being infatuated. By focusing on building a healthy relationship, you can create a strong and lasting connection with your partner, and experience the joy and excitement of true love, without being controlled by infatuation.

Infatuation isn't the opposite of love but rather the beginnings of love that haven't yet grown and matured. At Williamsburg Therapy Group, our team of doctoral-level psychotherapists in Fulton Market allows you to work with a trained professional that can help you learn how to grow your feelings in a relationship with a person, making room for the differences and for life experience.

If you struggle with feelings of infatuation, and find that you are often infatuated with others rather than building those feelings into love that accepts your partner for who they are as a person, reach out to our customer service coordinator to get matched with a professional who can help you learn to learn the difference between feelings of desire for a person and love, and help you to become real friends in a romantic relationship.